Who is Roy ?
To truly mentor those on their journey you have to honour your own first. Mine is below.
My Journey, and my story so far...
I was born gifted, I honour that statement, experience and hindsight of my journey has given me the gift, in that I can say that without hesitation, of what the person hearing it will think of me.
In my early years a dark shadow as tall as the room was with always me, and I just knew for no real reason he was there to protect me. That was how my journey began from memory.
Growing up I knew things beyond my years, yet was never trusted because of my age, even though to the core of my being I knew it was true. These knowings invariably came to pass, and even with consistent evidence I still wasn't trusted, less so by those closest to me.
It created a inner conflict, trying to fit into a worldwide social dynamic I was never destined to fit into. That ruled my early years, dimming my light, and where most people turn off their gifts, and believe others over their own inner truth. I trusted mine, as I felt it had a purpose for me, and I let it hum in the background. Years later via a long and winding life through many human experiences that purpose came to the fore loud and clear.
I left school, another place where I never fitted into any groups, and became an electrician. With hindsight it's funny I chose that, learning energy on the physical plane first.
Then at 17 my first real awakening hit, I was drawn to Tarot and crystals, even though that was not my interest, I loved football, I was very human. Then the pull to see psychics and Tarot readers started. They all said "you're not using your gifts enough". However none could tell me what they were, even they couldn't see my potential, so how was I supposed to learn if there was no one to guide me.
I followed my inner tuition, intuition, as best I could, the blind leading the blind at times! haha, I practised Tarot, honed my gift, I learned more about Spirituality and energy.
Then came my time to start the path of shadow, I joined the armed forces, went to war zones and 3rd world countries, getting to know the dark without knowing that's what I was really doing in those places. I was also learning how to sense the energy of the land beneath me.
My first spiritual death came when I left the Navy and my first serious relationship ended at the same time. This was a journey of knowing what it feels like when life strips away an identity, and learning shadow lessons of self sabotage to boot. Painful yet powerful, no pain no gain as they say.
Lifting life is far more long lasting on the body and mind.
Then the slow departure of family and friends began, my journey taking the reigns, the Universe, God, Buddha, whoever, started pulling the strings.
The control my ego thought it had started becoming less and less, and the knowledge of something greater became more and more obvious, and bit by bit I acquiesced, and flowed rather than thought. Life I still fought though, trying to fit in, trying to be accepted, but each year I was reminded that I was born with gifts. Friends introduced me to psychics, even after a first date and a car crash on the way home, that a visible ball of energy around me prevented any harm, I ended up in a strangers kitchen for help and the date's mum was a psychic.
I had to chuckle at that one, a powerful reminder of the ball park I knew I was in, even if I didn't know specifically who I was or my purpose in this whole grand earthly scheme.
This pattern continued throughout my 20's, I toughened up, chose martial arts disciplines, became a champion of England, which had ironic relevance. Again I was still trying to fit in by being the tough guy, but my inner self knew the truth, it's voice was much louder now. My toughness was located elsewhere, resilience to stand in circles and society where I always knew I would never fit in, and at that time still not know where I fitted into.
My early 30's I became a father, got married, emigrated to Australia, the departure of friends and family complete, a new life awaited, well I wasn't wrong, the marriage ended within 3 months, the biggest spiritual death of my life, everything stripped away, friends, family, support, career, every ego layer shredded in one fell swoop. Only my intuition remained, my trueness laid bare in the mirror everyday.
This is not a tale of woe I might add, how do I tell my journey without sounding cliché or website polished? With my own words and experiences, I am different, and for a damn good reason, and that is what sets me apart.
I've observed and learned my journey wholly empowered. I chose to double down, and always saw that life happened not 2 me but 4 me. As horrible as it looked to those that only saw a human journey, I knew it had a incredible reason to happen. Yes I fought to see my son, for 14 years, so I could have an influence on his life, he was gifted and I didn't want him to wander blindly like I did.
Love is always worth fighting for, and if you love yourself too, then you'll always have energy to grow and to improve, and to learn who you are at your core.
This was my next search, who am I? Reiki activated shortly into that journey, it wasn't new, I was remembering things I had learned in another time, I was acting more professionally in doing readings, and guidance for others. Wise beyond my years, and the ability to see in others what they couldn't see in themselves, and the same time be baffled why I couldn't see my purpose.
In meditations with others connecting to higher self, theirs showed up yet mine never did, guides did instead, predominately Merlin, but I felt lost because of it, why in my time of need does my spiritual self not even show up, it was soul destroying. He was though, and I wasn't making the obvious connection.
So I continued to wander through life, a sense in me that kept me going, that sometimes I disliked. I'm sure my spirit team were having a good chuckle at that one, in fact I know they were. My abilities kept on getting stronger, daily routines and spiritual practices became the normal way of life for me. Early iterations on business cards of my transitions from one being to the next.
Then years later I needed to have a deep and meaningful with my spirit team, I needed answers in a more connected way than meditation. So I worked with the medicine of the land, Acacia tree, and during that profound journey was told the obvious that I just hadn't figured out, my guides spoke and said "Merlin is not your guide, you are Merlin" - dominoes fell, every experience leading up to that point made sense, my hand hit my forehead, it was undeniable in that moment. I still sat with it for weeks after, checking ego was essential, especially on that message. It was empowering and daunting, the quintessential wizard to live up to, to embody, to become, to remember, and then to walk with honour and respect. I have been given a powerful journey, and all my earthly tests had prepared me for such a task. I live that to this day, I am unashamedly Merlin, whether you believe it or not.
My journey has moulded me to walk the walk and talk the talk, and because of that no matter how weird, odd, strange or quirky you feel your journey to be I will understand and honour every part of it, and I will be able to guide you into the parts you currently do not understand. That is my promise as the Man of Merlin that I am.